So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
