Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
