1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize