Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
