We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
