what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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