Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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