Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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