Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
