I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
