it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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