the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I die, sorry about rent.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
