I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
