The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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