TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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