Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
