i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
