he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
