the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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