Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
