Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your dad touched me again.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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