lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
