How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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