I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
