I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
