im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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