Barsexuality is the new black.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
