sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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