Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
