I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found your dick twin last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
