you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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