She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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