hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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