I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
