how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
