i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
