the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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