I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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