I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
