and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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