Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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