great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
