wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she told me i tasted like america
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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