You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
