Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
