38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
