I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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