i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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