when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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