The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I AM VODKA MAN
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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