I'm jealous of your bromance
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
