Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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