btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
