I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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