you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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