Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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