guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
