We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You dont lie about slip and slides
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
