New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
