fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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