Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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