you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
