I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
