Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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