but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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