this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
