Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
