This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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