I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
