There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
